‘Its not for me to reason why, it is for me to dare and die’ (Part 2 of 3)

eyeDid you do what I expected you might when I suggested you buy my book? You pulled a face. So what was your momentary thought? Can you recall it? Was it you saying something to yourself along the lines of: ‘she wants me to buy her book… it’s another scam… I didn’t come here wanting to buy a book…’? Am I right in my assessment? If so I suspect you might now be feeling a bit peeved, maybe even a touch frustrated, put out, repulsed even. And your next thought… was it you deciding on the most appropriate response? Are you going to give me a chance, hear me out, hang around a bit more with the notion of looking for the ‘what’s in it for me’?  But you can’t stop it can you. Your head is making more assessments and, depending on which way it’s running, I guess your finger might well now be hovering over the mouse. It’s twitching, as if ready to respond to another thought… something along the lines of: ‘Shall I do it now or later?’  And… oh dear… was that an exasperated sigh I heard, when again you reminded yourself that this post is all about selling a book, as another thought popped into your head that, actually, you could be wasting your time hanging around here? Well are you? I know you landed on this page because you were led here by your own curiosity, so there must have been something that caught your eye. Maybe you haven’t got it yet. You were definitely looking for something and I presume buying a book probably wasn’t it. That’s right isn’t it? I understand how you feel. I recognise that sensation. I’ve been here too.

Of course, as the author of this book I believe that there will be something in it for you. I wrote it with ‘me’ and ‘you’ in mind. So I’ve made it as readable and likeable as possible. It’s humorous because I think people like to smile and I like to make people laugh if I can. I’ve tried to choose the words that I hope are most likely to mean something to you, so that you feel as well as hear the words in your head. I do want to try and make things seem better. And of course I would say these things because I want you to buy a copy…! But you’re right; I don’t know anything about you. And what I want is not necessarily what you need or want right now. However, fate, destiny, or whatever you care to call it… don’t you think it’s a marvellous coincidence, despite what we are thinking on one level, that in this one instance both our minds are collectively engaged and invisibly connected in thinking about the same story, ‘Alice Wakes  Up’, but from two entirely different perspectives? And although your initial reaction was just as it was, how about, before you go, just taking a step back and sharing with me that feeling of utter delight, which I know you can imagine, of having just reached and accomplished your most important and valued goal. This is the feeling I have right now. I’ve come a very long way. I’ve written a book… unthinkable for me a few years back… and now that it’s finished I feel great. You know, right from the onset, when I told people at home what I was up to they gave me a look that I believed told me something I thought I knew. “Me an author…? Get real! I’m dyslexic for one. I can’t spell. I can’t even write a proper sentence most of the time. What a ridiculous idea!” And to be honest, at first I didn’t believe I had it either. But I found a kind voice. One that supported me and that I wanted to listen to; that inspired me and kept me going. It allowed me to feel excited and somehow empowered to strive for something different. Whereas before I used to tell myself that I was a stuttering dimwit, a failed English Literature student, now I can believe and see an acclaimed author. In one dimension nothing has actually changed, yet in another everything has. Maybe as you read those last few words your head interjected with a couple of points?  Bring me down to ground level as it were… such as highlighting firstly that I’m not actually an acclaimed author and secondly that I’m still a nobody… I’ve proved nothing yet other than to myself. And you would be right of course. But does it really matter who or what I am? Isn’t how I feel more important? ‘No’ did I hear you say? A natural response, as actually I know deep down… if you are being honest with yourself… that actually you don’t give two hoots about how I feel. But I do know that you really care a lot about how you feel…

Read about how Alice feels in the first chapter of ‘Alice Wakes Up’ HERE

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This entry was posted in depression, Dyslexia,, optimism, self publishing, success, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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